Which way now?

Almost 3000 words done for ScriptFrenzy so far. Straightline math says that I need to have 2,667 words done, so I'm on track. I am aiming for having 7,337 words done by Thursday since I will be doing family things all weekend. Shouldn't be a problem after today. I generally have more time on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

Emailed with a professional writer that I know and got more encouragement. She has been at this a long time, so her words get extra weight from me. I needed the shot in the arm.

So, I'm going to open up here, for those who want to tune out, check back with me later. For those who like the dirty, emotional stuff, here you go.

I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago as being in a depression. He asked these questions and my answer to most of them was 'of course', 'yeah', or 'doesn't everyone?' Most of the things he asked have gone on for most of my life. So now I look at my past and wonder if this episode or that episode may have been depression striking.

My big things revolve around a feeling of intense sadness and being disinterested in everything. The other areas play a role as well, but these are two of the bigger things. The disinterested is the part that bothers me the most since it affects my ability to write. I don't like that at all.

For those who will ask, I'm not suicidal. That didn't shock me though. I've always been more of a 'runner'. I used to jump into my car and drive until I had to fill it up and then would come back. But I have a wife and two year old now. I can't afford to abandon them, even for a few hours. I know that much.

My wife and I are working through it. It makes things wierd for both of us as we figure it out. It has been suggested by a friend with a Psychology Degree that I should get counseling and consider medication. I'm not sure yet. Both have risks, in my opinion. On the other side of that coin, both have tremendous opportunities for me if they go well.

Decisions, decisions, decision.